Fearfully & Wonderfully Made

I had a dream last night that I ate sugar. In my dream I ate a cupcake and drank a large cup of sweet tea. I woke up with a headache. So weird. I think this new way of eating is getting into my subconscious. It's amazing to me how I have been able to jump past hurdles like Halloween, Baby Showers, Birthday Parties, and even Thanksgiving. This program really helps keep my sugar levels balanced and the cravings down. I was talking with one of my clients and she was saying that what she experiences isn't true physical cravings for food but the emotional effect she'd have from eating those foods. E.G. Chocolate- Endorphins. What she is truly craving is the effect. I can relate. As I approach my sister's birthday this week and recognize that she would have been turning 37 I realize how tempting it is to want to turn to food for comfort. For a quick fix. For a temporary high. I used to used food to reward myself and to punish myself. It was a sick cycle. Now, it'

I can’t believe where I was a year ago and where I am today! God has brought me so far. I am so amazed! I gave blood Wednesday. My iron was awesome, my blood pressure phenomenal and I was 44 pounds down from when I donated 2 months ago. What a difference being healthier has made for me even in my blood donation! I didn’t get a headache afterwards. I felt strong and full of energy the whole day! I didn’t overeat for Thanksgiving and I felt no deprivation. So thankful for this journey! God is so faithful!

I went from losing 18 pounds last week to dropping over another 4 this week. I find it AMAZING- especially with the stress I’ve been under and all the emotional triggers of Samuel’s 4 hour CHKD appointment with the “late effects” clinic. I am shocked how I’ve continued to not eat donuts or birthday cake. I’m not touching soda or sweet tea. Eating this way seems to really have broken my sugar addiction! I’ve been doing this 5 weeks and though at times I wrestle with my desire to emotionally eat- I have not caved once! I’m not a super self control queen- honestly, it’s been Jesus and this program! I’m so incredibly thankful! I’m down a total of 32.6 pounds. The first ten was using CPAP therapy. The other 22.6 is from my nutritional program. So incredibly grateful for the energy I feel! In awe of God at work!

I'm thankful that even now before the throne of God there is One who lives to intercede for me. Pizza will never fill the hole in my heart. Only God can. What does intercede mean? to act or interpose in behalf of someone in difficulty or trouble, as by pleading or petition: to attempt to reconcile differences between two people or groups; mediate.  I don't know about you but I need an intercessor. There is no way I could, on my own, make myself right with God. Jesus is my Savior, my Redeemer, and my Intercessor. He is every pleading on my behalf. I'm not left to manage myself alone.  My heart has been hurting lately. Yesterday was a day of pizza temptation. I had this huge hole in my heart that was looking for comfort and my kids had pizza for lunch and dinner. I've been able to look past what they're eating pretty easily... but yesterday was different. I wanted COMFORT... and comfort looked like PIZZA. BUT I SAID NOPE! I didn't give in t

It's been amazing all the different things that have come to the surface since I'm no longer eating my feelings. I find myself trying to find new ways to numb and distract myself. Mainly Facebook/Instagram/Pinterest. So I'm having to set a timer and let myself be on for 10 minutes and when the timer goes off I get off. I'm not going to replace a bad habit with another bad habit! I also see myself wanting to turn to my phone to kill time instead of doing the things I need to be doing... it's like I'm bored while being busy! It's been so interesting being raw and vulnerable. I feel like I'm completely open to any kind of attack. I've had to keep turning to the Lord and asking Him to be my covering. To be my shield. My protector and defender. My help in time of need. Yesterday I was down for the count. Peter had come with a virus/bug and passed it on to me and Mike. Thankful I was able to sleep a lot of the day. I chose to still do my fuelings and l

So I've experienced week 2. A lot more energy which has been amazing! I've had my moments of fighting sadness and depression, which kind of surprised me. It's amazing what you feel when you're not eating your feelings. When you actually let things surface. I realized I was really upset when I got Samuel's INTACT clinic appointment reminder. INTACT stands for Individuals Thriving After Cancer Treatment. Most of his appointments don't knock for me a loop but this one does. We have to go over all the effects of the chemo and radiation. It can feel very scary and overwhelming and make me anxious about the future. But God doesn't call me to live in the future. He says He is I AM! Which means I need to be here. Right now. Present. Right where I am. So I had to work through that. I also went to a banquet dinner this week. I took the pears and blue cheese off my salad and ate the spring mix without dressing. I passed on the crostini and the hot rolls. I ate

Oh my goodness friends. I have so much energy. It blows my mind. Energy in the morning for sure... but I still have energy at the end of the day. I'm dancing in my kitchen by dinner time. I noticed I could bend over with ease to get pots and pans out of the cupboard... before I used to yell for one of my children and ask them to reach for me! I'm marveling at God at work. Can this really all happen from a change of nutrition? I can't believe I don't have cravings! I'm not a sugar monster. I'm not even sweating approaching holidays. I'm learning what I can substitute and an am enjoying feeling my body- get naturally hungry and then fueling it! I know I'm only on Day 12 but I just feel a whole new lease on life. It doesn't feel like work to get out of bed. I'm genuinely joyful in spite of roadblocks, hiccups and inconveniences. How can God be doing this good work in me? Oh my goodness! I just got to stop and praise Him for a moment.

So, I woke up this morning and knew it was time to get on the scale. I've been following the program to a T... but would it pay off? DOWN 8.4 lbs. and 6.5 inches in one week! Bringing myself to a total of 18.4 lbs lost in the past month! I had a few moments of weakness but have not been hungry. Focusing on getting all my fuelings in and enjoying making my lean and green meal. Today I made zucchini noodles with 5 oz of lean ground beef and a 1/4 cup of organic spaghetti sauce... so satisfying! I've hardly had any cravings. The occasional garlic mashers or fries is tempting, along with Brie cheese... but I find that it's not a physical temptation as much as it is an emotional one. I want to eat comfort food. I want to stuff down my feelings. I want to numb myself on a Sunday afternoon after church so I can zone out. I want to eat the pancakes my family is eating at IHOP. But I didn't. I ate a grilled chicken salad and whenI got home I took my chocolate chip pancak

I'm so excited!!! I found a nutritional plan that will work with my life and will allow me to eat every 2-3 hours and lose weight big time and today after a month of thoughts I decided to take the first step and join!  I'm eager to retrain my brain to get away from emotional eating and to surrender my obsessive thoughts on food. I'm thrilled to fuel my body with dense nutrition, giving it what it needs to run well. I'm starting my before pics/weight/measurements now. But I can't wait to see the results. I can visualize the changes I'm making and that I'm going to see huge results because of this plan. I have a week to go before I can start but I love how my mind is already thinking new thoughts. Change is coming. Change is happening. The Lord is at work! I'm so thankful to God for bringing me to the right thing at the right time.

I woke up at 4 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. One of those wide awake mornings plus my sweet love snoring beside me, make a great combination = wake-up time. So how many times can I reset myself? How many times can I start over? Try again? Begin Afresh? The Lord tells us His mercies are new every morning and I think it's the permission I need to hear to be reminded that I can start again, today, now, this very moment. This journey has been far from perfect. Far from ideal. But what I love is that God has graciously walked with me and shown me new truths and old truths in fresh ways. Today, I'm choosing to love myself as I am. Not for who I will become but for who I am today. I'm grateful for this body that can move and take me places, that breathes for me, that cycles blood, eliminates toxins, and allows me the nutrition I need to be healthy. There are so many paths to take when it comes to weight loss. But I know the foundation remains the same- a lifest