Fearfully & Wonderfully Made

I had a dream last night that I ate sugar. In my dream I ate a cupcake and drank a large cup of sweet tea. I woke up with a headache. So weird. I think this new way of eating is getting into my subconscious. It's amazing to me how I have been able to jump past hurdles like Halloween, Baby Showers, Birthday Parties, and even Thanksgiving. This program really helps keep my sugar levels balanced and the cravings down. I was talking with one of my clients and she was saying that what she experiences isn't true physical cravings for food but the emotional effect she'd have from eating those foods. E.G. Chocolate- Endorphins. What she is truly craving is the effect. I can relate. As I approach my sister's birthday this week and recognize that she would have been turning 37 I realize how tempting it is to want to turn to food for comfort. For a quick fix. For a temporary high. I used to used food to reward myself and to punish myself. It was a sick cycle. Now, it...

I'm thankful that even now before the throne of God there is One who lives to intercede for me. Pizza will never fill the hole in my heart. Only God can. What does intercede mean? to act or interpose in behalf of someone in difficulty or trouble, as by pleading or petition: to attempt to reconcile differences between two people or groups; mediate.  I don't know about you but I need an intercessor. There is no way I could, on my own, make myself right with God. Jesus is my Savior, my Redeemer, and my Intercessor. He is every pleading on my behalf. I'm not left to manage myself alone.  My heart has been hurting lately. Yesterday was a day of pizza temptation. I had this huge hole in my heart that was looking for comfort and my kids had pizza for lunch and dinner. I've been able to look past what they're eating pretty easily... but yesterday was different. I wanted COMFORT... and comfort looked like PIZZA. BUT I SAID NOPE! I didn't give in t...

So the sad thing is I finished the 12 weeks and I weighed more than when I started. The good news is I have been consistently working out and I love doing weights! Yay! It's been over 15 weeks now that I have worked out a minimum of 3 up to a maximum of 6 days a week. I really am in the swing of it which is nice. I'm looking forward to school starting to have a set routine so I can plan better what I'm eating and when. And also to have a same schedule/set time for exercise. I've been having a hard time falling asleep lately... which has led to sleeping in... which has created a vicious cycle of staying up late and then sleeping late. Blah. Trying to fight that one. Especially before school starts up again. School days start early- 5:30 a.m. to be exact. We have to get everyone up, dressed, fed, school things gathered and down to the bus stop by 6:20 a.m. Whew. It's quite the exercise! I think the big thing I've been struggling with is emotional eating. A...

I gave up sugar for lent as well as fried foods. It's been really challenging but somehow God has helped me to overcome. I've bypassed coffee cake, hot fudge sundaes, and other sugar social eating opportunities. I have been substituting with a lot of dried and fresh fruit. It's sweet I want and sweet I get but without the sugar. I've been eating a lot less processed foods. And I've managed to drop 5 pounds. I wasn't doing this for a weight thing but it is a nice perk and it also shows me how much sugar I eat and how I'm pretty addicted to it. It's kind of unbelievable the things I've been saying no to.... I didn't realize how much sugar I was eating. Yikes. I've been avoiding caffeine. Not on purpose mind you but I like sugar with my coffee. I like flavored lattes and mochas. I like drinking english breakfast with sugar. And then there's Coke. I really like Coke. It started with my pregnancy with Libby. It was pretty much the only thi...

So after playing the yo-yo game for a bit I had a change. I gained 15 pounds. Yippee. (said in monotone, flat ironic voice). Yeah, I got on this new medicine that was supposed to not affect my weight and bam... the pounds came on. This was discouraging after working out 3 days a week for an hour and a half a stretch (cardio & weights)... and the pounds came on. It wasn't like I felt like I was gaining true fat weight but just getting puffy everywhere. I think I had retained a ton of water. So, that happened and then I went nuts. I was like, "Fine, go ahead... if you're going to pile on me anyway then I'm going to enjoy it." So while in Florida I managed to eat ice-cream everyday and overeat in general. Silly, silly girl. Get back on the horse. We got home last night and today I already started back to exercise... and self-discipline. Eating good healthy foods full of protein, nutrients, vitamins, etc. I am praying and asking God to help me... help me t...

Aaagh. I really want to eat and it's past 8. I'm really wanting to get some trail mix. But I wrote this... so that I wouldn't eat... and I will go and drink water instead.

I was really somewhat proud of myself tonight. I enjoyed a salad and then had some stromboli... but I didn't go back for seconds. I ate slowly and purposefully... and it was delicious. We were celebrating the birthday of a dear friend of ours. I did enjoy a piece of the chocolate, chocolate cake.... and I finished eating before 8. I haven't been tracking what I eat physically but more mentally in my head. I want to get back in the habit of writing it down! I've been making some small changes... I hope they add up to big success!

Questions to ask myself before I eat... Am I... HUNGRY? ANGRY? LONELY? TIRED?

I have recently made a commitment with a friend that I would not eat after 8. It's not a legalistic thing. It's just we both find that we tend to want to munch after 8. It's a great principle that I'm trying to stick to. I have set an alarm on my phone for 7:45 p.m. to remind myself that I'm not going to be eating in 15 minutes. This gives me time to eat a snack (usually a piece of fruit) in case I'm hungry. A nice cup of herbal tea is also another nice way to end the evening. Sometimes it's hard and I find that I have to drink a lot of water to get rid of the hunger pang. Another way to fight "temptation" is to brush my teeth and use mouth wash. I don't want to have to brush my teeth again and this is usually a good cue to my body that I'm done with food for the night. It feels good to tell myself "No!". In addition I find that I feel better upon waking in the morning.