Fearfully & Wonderfully Made

8th months and I'm 107 pounds down. Image on left October 7, 2019 Image on Right May 11, 2020 So where have I been? I was doing okay posting on my blog and then I stopped in February... and then time just went on and  March was all Covid... and then April and May (more lockdown) so I've been just riding the ride. And then two different friends said remarkable things to me today. One encouraged in me my writing. And one reminded me that I had a gift to give. You see I've been a bit frozen. A bit afraid of saying the wrong thing in this stressful climate. When Covid first hit and quarantine and shelter in place became a thing there was a part of me that felt pretty shallow talking about my weight loss updates. There was also a part of me that felt like "who cares what I eat? The world is ending!" And there were times where I totally failed. I overate popcorn and almonds y'all. I was emotionally eating. I was struggling. Mike laughed. He was lik...

So when I started this program I had to come up with a list of why's. A list of things motivating me to change. Things that would drive me to keep going when I didn't feel like it. In June I wrote a blog post entitled Loving the Girl in the mirror. In this post I recognize that I need long-term permanent lifestyle change. I also recognized that I needed to start loving the person I am now. What's interesting is when I composed my list of Why's, I wrote that I wanted to recognize myself in the mirror. I realized at the time when I looked at the mirror I didn't recognize myself staring back. I couldn't believe the person I had become. I saw a large, sad, hurting woman who was in excruciating pain. So I don't do it often but as I was washing my hands yesterday I looked up at myself in the mirror. I had the same realization but for different reasons. I once again didn't recognize the girl in the mirror. I have been transforming. So much so that I did...

Oh my goodness friends. I have so much energy. It blows my mind. Energy in the morning for sure... but I still have energy at the end of the day. I'm dancing in my kitchen by dinner time. I noticed I could bend over with ease to get pots and pans out of the cupboard... before I used to yell for one of my children and ask them to reach for me! I'm marveling at God at work. Can this really all happen from a change of nutrition? I can't believe I don't have cravings! I'm not a sugar monster. I'm not even sweating approaching holidays. I'm learning what I can substitute and an am enjoying feeling my body- get naturally hungry and then fueling it! I know I'm only on Day 12 but I just feel a whole new lease on life. It doesn't feel like work to get out of bed. I'm genuinely joyful in spite of roadblocks, hiccups and inconveniences. How can God be doing this good work in me? Oh my goodness! I just got to stop and praise Him for a moment. ...

How many of us really know how to relax and unwind? Do you know how to push the pause button in your brain? Do you know what refuels you? I'm not talking about mindlessly numbing yourself through screen time or binge eating or drinking... I mean being truly refreshed! Our bodies need rest. We need proper sleep as a way to heal our bodies and reset ourselves. We also need to find healthy ways to relieve the stress that we each face in our day to day living. Honestly this is one of my most difficult changes to make... getting adequate sleep. The problem, I stay up late and then I struggle to get up early. Repeat. I know getting enough sleep helps me function better- mentally, physically, emotionally, etc. But sometimes feels so out of reach. I know also managing stress is very important for my health. I love hot baths and soothing teas. Reading a great mystery. Baking or cooking a new recipe. Painting my nails. Taking a quick nap on a Sunday afternoon. What refreshes you? H...

Over a week and a half in and I'm down 8 pounds. I know today's a special day with it being the twins birthday so I'm trying to set myself up for success. This means dark chocolate and macadamia nuts when everyone else is splurging on ice-cream or cake etc. I might be adventurous and make some kind of paleo/primal cake tonight. We'll see how long today is out. Lunch at Chick-fil-a and a trip to the zoo... oh what fun! Looking forward  to learning how to manage around special times.

My husband recently came home from a trip and was enthused about us trying a new lifestyle... Primal Blueprint by Mark Sisson. (It's Paleo with a twist.) So we bought two books. Primal Bluepring and the 21 day total body transformation. I was amazed at how he talked about how we are killing our bodies with overproduction of insulin that causes us to store fat and have inflammation throughout the body. After reading the first book I was trying to decide when was a good time to start. This past Monday I decided enough's enough and I started. I cleared out the pantry. Gone went most of the carbs and other pitfalls to our new eating style. I still kept a couple of boxes of cereal for the kids and their granola bars, etc. I went grocery shopping and loaded the cart with fresh salmon, vegetable and grass-fed beef. I could tell detoxing from carbs was hitting me on Monday and severely on Tuesday. Headaches, dizzy, fever, sluggishness. I continued eating primal anyway. We have pe...

I gave up sugar for lent as well as fried foods. It's been really challenging but somehow God has helped me to overcome. I've bypassed coffee cake, hot fudge sundaes, and other sugar social eating opportunities. I have been substituting with a lot of dried and fresh fruit. It's sweet I want and sweet I get but without the sugar. I've been eating a lot less processed foods. And I've managed to drop 5 pounds. I wasn't doing this for a weight thing but it is a nice perk and it also shows me how much sugar I eat and how I'm pretty addicted to it. It's kind of unbelievable the things I've been saying no to.... I didn't realize how much sugar I was eating. Yikes. I've been avoiding caffeine. Not on purpose mind you but I like sugar with my coffee. I like flavored lattes and mochas. I like drinking english breakfast with sugar. And then there's Coke. I really like Coke. It started with my pregnancy with Libby. It was pretty much the only thi...

I have recently made a commitment with a friend that I would not eat after 8. It's not a legalistic thing. It's just we both find that we tend to want to munch after 8. It's a great principle that I'm trying to stick to. I have set an alarm on my phone for 7:45 p.m. to remind myself that I'm not going to be eating in 15 minutes. This gives me time to eat a snack (usually a piece of fruit) in case I'm hungry. A nice cup of herbal tea is also another nice way to end the evening. Sometimes it's hard and I find that I have to drink a lot of water to get rid of the hunger pang. Another way to fight "temptation" is to brush my teeth and use mouth wash. I don't want to have to brush my teeth again and this is usually a good cue to my body that I'm done with food for the night. It feels good to tell myself "No!". In addition I find that I feel better upon waking in the morning.

My goal for this week seems simple but I'm trying to track my points everyday! I'm also trying to create a variety of meals and snacks. This was lunch the other day... I love adding one hardboiled egg to my salad. I also used some left over rotisserie chicken. Carrots (Julienne). A few Craisins. Light Balsamic Vinaigrette. And my snack later of apple, a few pretzels and a tablespoon of Dark Chocolate Dreams: Peanutbutter with Cocoa... yum!

Well, I joined Weight Watchers December 31st. I am so excited! Weight Watchers just started a new program. It's called Points Plus. It's very well-rounded. It takes into account protein, fiber, fat & carbs. But it makes it easy! I like it because it's all about eating healthfully and being active. It's a lifestyle change not just some fad diet. Several people I know are thinking about or already have joined! I'm so psyched. I'm looking forward to doing something good for myself that will in turn benefit everyone around me. I will have more energy! I want to be around for those I love... I want to take care of my body. So between God's help with Weight Watchers and taking Zumba at the YMCA... look out :) A whole new me is arriving with this New Year!

Haha ha ha ha. All it takes is getting pregnant to set aside this blog. Now here it is... the end of December... I have an almost 8 week old... I'm 15 pounds less then my starting pregnancy weight. That's a bonus. I know I need accountability and help... so what does this mean? I'm joining Weight Watchers. I've had success in the past... I don't do well with just the online program.. I need face to face interaction and encouragement... so tomorrow I'm boldly going into a meeting. I need to take care of myself. I might be suffering from lack of sleep and be under a tremendous amount of stress but I can choose what I eat. I can choose to exercise. I can choose health. I want energy... My goal for this new year is good health! For me personally, for my husband, for my children. Things I'm doing differently already: -Choosing to have accountability (with WW and friends.) -Taking Barley Green -Faithfully taking Vitamins & supplements. -Taking good care of my ...

I must confess, although I try not to think about it too often, that I am in two weddings this summer. So being a bridesmaid is some motivation. Funny enough though I don't really care about what size I have to pick out for the dresses. I am more interested in being healthy and also having fun at the weddings. It's great not to be hung up on how I look. I'm so grateful that I get to participate in these weddings. It's truly an honor. I look forward, with much hope, to fitting a smaller size by my birthday. This June 3rd I turn 30. Wouldn't it be fun to lose 30 by 30? We'll see. For now I am just committed to getting through the here and now. Eating well. Consistently Exercising. Taking my vitamins and medicine. Drinking water. And trying to think more positively. I think your attitude and your positive or negative thoughts make a HUGE difference!

I'm wrestling my emotions like I'm trying to pin a huge alligator. I get it to the ground and I think I have it under control and then suddenly before I know it it has escaped and is snapping at me with a voracious hunger leaving me to once again try to figure out how to tame this wild beast. How to get my arms around it once again... Oh to be free of these crazy and wild feelings. The intensity of sadness and grief leaves me empty... the way I love to fill this emptiness is with food. So lately before eating I try praying and drinking some water. And instead of picking comfort foods I will try and satiate it first with fruit. A banana or apple with p.b. or maybe protein drink or a piece of cheese with a couple of crackers. There are times though (and you ladies know what I mean) where I "need" chocolate. I found a little treat that is satisfying and helps... It's by quaker and called True Delights. I have the chocolate and raspberry which is a favorite comb...