Fearfully & Wonderfully Made

So after playing the yo-yo game for a bit I had a change. I gained 15 pounds. Yippee. (said in monotone, flat ironic voice). Yeah, I got on this new medicine that was supposed to not affect my weight and bam... the pounds came on. This was discouraging after working out 3 days a week for an hour and a half a stretch (cardio & weights)... and the pounds came on. It wasn't like I felt like I was gaining true fat weight but just getting puffy everywhere. I think I had retained a ton of water. So, that happened and then I went nuts. I was like, "Fine, go ahead... if you're going to pile on me anyway then I'm going to enjoy it." So while in Florida I managed to eat ice-cream everyday and overeat in general. Silly, silly girl. Get back on the horse. We got home last night and today I already started back to exercise... and self-discipline. Eating good healthy foods full of protein, nutrients, vitamins, etc. I am praying and asking God to help me... help me t...

Aaagh. I really want to eat and it's past 8. I'm really wanting to get some trail mix. But I wrote this... so that I wouldn't eat... and I will go and drink water instead.

The 3 Major Healthy Components for Health: Omega-3 essential fatty acids , "good" fats that have been shown to have heart-healthy effects. Each tablespoon of ground flaxseed contains about 1.8 grams of plant omega-3s. Lignans , which have both plant estrogen and antioxidant qualities. Flaxseed contains 75-800 times more lignans than other plant foods. Fiber .  How to use: There are a variety of ways you can add Flax to your diet... you can add it to smoothies, yogurt, oatmeal, cookies, muffins, pancakes, waffles, bread, salads, cottage cheese and fruit, burgers or meatloaf as a healthy filler. You can even use it to substitute oil and eggs in baking recipes. Use the flaxseed whole or ground (flaxseed meal) Also be sure to try flaxseed oil. I also enjoy this in my smoothies, salad dressings, using it when I sautee veggies, etc. But I did hear that if you "heat" it up it can lose it's value (don't know the truth on that one). The health b...

I was really somewhat proud of myself tonight. I enjoyed a salad and then had some stromboli... but I didn't go back for seconds. I ate slowly and purposefully... and it was delicious. We were celebrating the birthday of a dear friend of ours. I did enjoy a piece of the chocolate, chocolate cake.... and I finished eating before 8. I haven't been tracking what I eat physically but more mentally in my head. I want to get back in the habit of writing it down! I've been making some small changes... I hope they add up to big success!

The world seems to me a very undernourished place. Having too much of the wrong food... and just plain not enough food will create malnutrition. I have felt the guilt of having such an abundance of food with the knowledge that others are starving... or worse... watching their children starve. This is a horrible reality that people face every day. BUT OVEREATING WILL NOT FILL OTHERS EMPTY BELLIES . You wouldn't think in this country of abundance that we would struggle with nutrition... but we do. We tend to eat a lot of empty calories... things that lack vitamins, minerals, and nutrients. We tend to eat the wrong kinds of fats, carbs, and even protein. A startling trend is how much we consume calorie wise in what we drink... whether in our lattes, our gatorade, sodas, and even juice... we as Americans consume a lot of calories in our beverage choices. I was thinking through some changes that could potentially help. 1.) Eat what you have . I don't do well with this one an...

Questions to ask myself before I eat... Am I... HUNGRY? ANGRY? LONELY? TIRED?

I have recently made a commitment with a friend that I would not eat after 8. It's not a legalistic thing. It's just we both find that we tend to want to munch after 8. It's a great principle that I'm trying to stick to. I have set an alarm on my phone for 7:45 p.m. to remind myself that I'm not going to be eating in 15 minutes. This gives me time to eat a snack (usually a piece of fruit) in case I'm hungry. A nice cup of herbal tea is also another nice way to end the evening. Sometimes it's hard and I find that I have to drink a lot of water to get rid of the hunger pang. Another way to fight "temptation" is to brush my teeth and use mouth wash. I don't want to have to brush my teeth again and this is usually a good cue to my body that I'm done with food for the night. It feels good to tell myself "No!". In addition I find that I feel better upon waking in the morning.

I love eggs. They're such a wonderful protein. I enjoy them scrambled, fried, & over medium. I love them hard boiled and I enjoy adding them to my green salads as well as turning them into egg salad sandwiches. Mmmm. Add a little paprika or cumin depending on the dish. Eggs are my friends. Lately when I go out to eat and am eating breakfast items I order hardboiled eggs as part of my meal. I eat one then and save one for later to add to a salad. I love my egg slicer. It makes things quick and easy.

A part of me... a rather large part, at that, is tempted to say that I'm a failure! In some ways that is true. I have not been very successful in going down on the scale. BUT what I have been successful at is maintaining the same weight. This might not seem like a big deal but for me that is HUGE. I usually find that after a few months after having a new baby that I stop losing weight and start gaining. And I have not done that! I have held fast. I've been up and down a few pounds for the past, oh, about 6 months. BUT, I have not added 20 + pounds to my frame. And that, my dear IS SUCCESS! I'm excited though to move forward. I have recently (as of a few days ago) completely stopped nursing. There were a few reasons for quitting... and primarily they were for my health... The disadvantage is I "lose" all those extra points I got for nursing. The plus side though is that I know exactly the amount of points I truly have for each day. There's no if, and or ...

Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desires with God, Not Food. Lysa Terkeurst Didn't know what I thought of it when I first started but I'm over halfway through and really enjoying it. Much to gain from this book.

My goal for this week seems simple but I'm trying to track my points everyday! I'm also trying to create a variety of meals and snacks. This was lunch the other day... I love adding one hardboiled egg to my salad. I also used some left over rotisserie chicken. Carrots (Julienne). A few Craisins. Light Balsamic Vinaigrette. And my snack later of apple, a few pretzels and a tablespoon of Dark Chocolate Dreams: Peanutbutter with Cocoa... yum!

I have been frustrated with myself at my inability to be consistent but thankful for persevering through the ups and downs of the past several weeks. I lost 2 pounds at my weigh in. I knew I had gained weight last week... but I didn't weigh in because I went out of town. So I've really probably last 3 pounds or so. Yay! I've been trying to rethink what I traditionally eat. If I want cereal at night for dinner I have that. I love having p.b. with graham crackers instead of a "regular" dessert. Some times a bowl of home-made on the stove oatmeal with craisins and walnuts and brown sugar is more filling and satisfying than other equal point meals. I try to make sure I have enough protein... one of my favorite ways is Greek yogurt. Mmmm. So good. I love Chobani's Greek yogurt, blueberry and strawberry are my favorite.

I lost this past weigh-in. Not much... but moving in the downward is wonderful. When I went into the hospital to get checked out (I have a fever & strep-very bad) the doctor didn't believe I weighed as much as I did... He said I looked a lot smaller then what I weighed. That was a nice feeling. I told him I'm doing weight watchers and that I'm trying to lose weight. He was very encouraging. I'm glad I "look" smaller. I was tempted to feel discouraged yesterday by the small result but I'm learning... I'm making better choices. I'm exercising. I'm aware of what I put in my mouth and yet I still enjoy life. I had cheesecake on my birthday yesterday. I feel like I'm losing inches more than I am weight. My clothes are loose and I've gone down two sizes. And more importantly, I'm taking care of my health and setting a good example for my kids. I have more energy and I feel better! So yay!

So it's been up, down, up, down lately. My biggest struggle has been tracking my points. I start off with good intentions but by the end of the day it's been scrapped. I eat a big meal in the morning or afternoon and then swear I will eat a light dinner of salad and soup or some such meal... but that doesn't happen. I don't want to weigh in tomorrow. I probably am up... and last week I was up too. It's like I can't get past a mental block. Like I don't want to lose weight or something. I know I've been eating because I'm emotional. Sigh. But still not giving up. I will go tomorrow. I will weigh in and I will track what I eat... it makes such a difference!

I don't know what happened but between wedding, Easter, hospital, etc. stuff I just managed to get into the habit of not tracking and emotional eating. This week I got back into tracking but haven't had a chance to exercise. i guess the point though is to keep on keeping on!

tired. emotional. wanting instant gratification. The past several weeks have been a struggle. For some reason I keep turning to food for comfort. It satisfies... for a little while... and then I'm left with that same empty, gnawing ache. Only God can fill these deep needs and provide comfort in the midst of sorrow & suffering. Only He truly satisfies. I've been reading an excellent book entitled, "Gotta Have It!: freedom from wanting everything RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!" It is reminding me of my excessities... things I turn to for false comfort.

This pie totally rocks! The flavor is fresh and amazing. At first I thought I didn't like it with the lemon zest but I didn't let it sit in the fridge long enough. I think this dish is best made the night before an occasion and once chilled the zest gives it an extra pah-pow. Creamy Lemon Pie - 4 points per serving. WeightWatchers.Com Ingredients 6 whole reduced-fat cinnamon graham crackers 2 Tbsp butter 11 oz fat-free sweetened condensed milk 2 large egg(s) 1/2 cup(s) fresh lemon juice 1 Tbsp lemon zest Instructions Preheat oven to 350ºF. Grind graham crackers in a food processor until fine crumbs form. Or place crackers in a resealable plastic bag and crush with a rolling pin. Place crumbs in a small bowl. Melt butter on stove top or in microwave and pour over graham cracker crumbs, mixing with a fork until completely moistened. Press crumbs evenly onto bottom of a 9-inch pie pan; place crust in refrigerator while preparing lemon filling. In a...

I lost weight last weigh in. I'm down a total of 16 pounds... down 32 pounds if compared to my starting pre-pregnancy weight with Peter. Whew-I could not have done this apart from God's help and sustaining power! The last several days have been crazy. With Mike having been gone and Samuel in the hospital and then Mike getting home yesterday and the birth of my niece... well, I've been grabbing and going with food. I've made overall good choices but I haven't been keeping track of my points and there has NOT been time to exercise. I will see what the scale says this Friday....

It feels good to be "back on track" writing down what I'm consuming and being more mindful of points. I LOVE this lifestyle. I don't feel guilty when I'm eating something sweet and yet I am more conscious of what I really want. Is that worth THAT amount of points. Somethings are and somethings aren't. One thing that can be challenging is trying to be flexible. Yesterday I was right on track and had planned a nice fish dinner (in my head)... but when I had to unexpectedly take a child to the doctors it ended up being McDonalds on the menu. I didn't despair. I chose things in my points range and survived. I could have been tempted to despair and think, "Oh well, might as well get the combo... and maybe a hot fudge sundae too.) BUT I didn't. I chose a value fry and a sandwich.... and was satisfied. Learning how to deal with my emotions and relationship with food has been challenging but my goal is slow persistence and perseverance not an intense but ...

Hm. So I weighed in today. I was down .6 lbs. Not much. Notice i wrote .6 not to be confused with 6. BUT considering the past several weeks what with grieving and birthday cakes and being GIVEN 12 BOXES of girlscout cookies... and vacation... I did pretty well. I was able to exercise this week consistently. I'm also encouraged just being at a meeting and realizing that I can do this. I'm not going to give up. I'm learning and changing and losing!

"Light brownies" are great to eat... except when you eat 3 of them at a time. aaaaggghhh... just because they're healthier doesn't mean you're supposed to eat a ton of them!

Tried a belly dancing class at the Y today. It was a lot of fun. I liked learning how to control certain muscles and move certain parts of my body without moving other parts. I also liked learning balance. A very fun class and a good way to change things up.

Okay, so I weighed in on Saturday and I lost 2.6 pounds. yay. Back on track. Enjoying eating healthier in general and making different choices. The topic was on portions and the meeting was really encouraging. I don't have any exercise clothes so I bought myself a couple tops today that were on clearance ($5 each!) Yay! While I was at it I noticed I'm definitely a size or 2 smaller (depending on what I tried). I found a dress to wear to David and Courtney's wedding... it looks good now so I'm imagining how much even better it will look by the wedding in April.

Mexican Bean Soup by Jennifer Napier Put the following in the crock pot: 2 jars of pinto beans 2 jars of black beans 1 can of garbanzo beans 1/2 onion chopped 1 jar of medium salsa 1 packet of taco seasoning 2 garlic cloves minced top with shredded cheese, light sour cream and crushed tortilla chips. Also great served over brown rice or quinoa.

Ups and downs this week. I had been doing incredibly well and then hit a rough spot last night. I ate a bunch of stuff I didn't have the points for and just kept eating. I wasn't even hungry. I was just upset and so I ate. Today I reeled it in a bit. Protein shake for breakfast. HUGE salad with chicken for lunch. Popcorn and fruit for snacks. Dinner of Mexican bean soup. I did Zumba as well. So I exercised twice this week. Better than last week where exercise was 0. So, hey, I'm working on it. I do much better when I journal my points.

One of my favorite things about my week starting on the week-ends (Friday)... in terms of weigh-ins and tracking...is that I get a good kick-start for the week-end. I know I can splurge some but I don't tend to overdo it... I made a big turkey dinner tonight. It was fun... it felt like Thanksgiving in February. But without the overeating. I enjoyed my food and i felt content, not stuffed. New thing to try. frozen fruit in my water for flavor.... mmmmm

Much better day. Drank a lot of water. Tracked what I ate. Avoided extra sugar. Sugar definitely sends me spiraling out of control. Also realized I was full quicker than I thought I was. My stomach must be shrinking.

When out of control the best thing to avoid being around is cupcakes. My emotions ran away for the past two weeks. Between my brother's wedding, Valentine's Day, and Samuel's birthday.... and all the emotions of the events... well, let's just say I fell off the horse. So now I'm getting back in the saddle. I didn't plan to fail but without a plan I did fail. So now I am coming up with a plan. It's funny how when you're disciplined everything seems to fall in line... you drink your water, eat well, exercise, get sleep. But somehow when you don't sleep, you eat more sugar, stop drinking water... It just all falls apart. The good thing is I realize how much my perfectionism plays into this. I was so upset that I missed a couple of days of journaling what i ate and drank that I decided to just not mess up my book by not having it in order... that I just stopped journaling. Crazy me. I'd rather have a messy journal than a messed up plan... But anyway....

Oh man. I didn't eat great this past week. a combination of not drinking enough water... eating sugar which triggered more eating and especially craving sugar.... and pure exhaustion. I didn't get to go to a WW meeting because I was busy on Friday taking Samuel to radiation and then CHKD. So I need to go get weighed and see what the "damage" is. I don't even feel motivated to change. I just want to eat sugar and sleep. I'm so tired and so emotional and weary. It's hard to fight my feelings. It's hard to take time for myself. No chance to exercise. Blah blah blah. Well, today is a new day. And this is the point of WW... it's there to help keep me accountable and encourage me to change and learn moderation and discipline. It's not a diet. It's a lifestyle. And this is my reality... there will be ups and downs and it's OKAY!!! So, to get back on the horse...

I haven't really had a chance to work-out lately. Being sick really took it out of me.... But I did dance for hours last night at my brother's wedding... so I guess that counts for something, right? There's a "ballet sculpt" class at the YMCA... I look forward to taking that.

Okay I've lost more than 5% of my body weight. Hurray! One of the things I've been trying to learn is what treats are worth it... And I don't just mean point wise but what will taste good and I won't feel yucky after eating it. My taste has changed. I definitely am liking certain things more and other things less!

Trying to decide which to save up for.... the Zumba for Kinnect XBox 360 or The Biggest Loser: Ultimate Challenge for Kinnect XBox 360. I've heard mixed reviews on both... People raved about them... and some others didn't like them. Maybe I will rent them first and see which one I like better. I wonder if my kids will really let me work out... When I would do pilates they would hang from my legs as I was trying to do downward facing dog... not very helpful :)

Favorite 1 point treat. Grasshopper Mint cookie by Keebler. So good. I love the minty chocolate flavor.

One thing that I think most diets forget is the importance of treats. That's why I like Weight Watchers. I'm NOT deprived!!! In fact I'm nibbling on a Dark Chocolate Reeses Peanutbutter Cup as I write. Having a lifestyle that includes treats and recognizes the fact that there are birthday parties, social events, weddings, etc. to attend is wonderful. I'm learning how and when I want to eat certain foods. Letting certain foods be "forbidden" will set you up to fall... eventually. I'm learning to "Think BEFORE I eat!"

Weighed in today.... I've lost a total of 11 pounds ! Wahoo. It was a rough week being sick and in addition eating too much sugar earlier in my week.... but I lost 3.4 pounds this week. So yay! Feeling motivated.

Okay, did I eat the sugar because I didn't feel well or did I not feel well because I ate the sugar? Bronchitis, flu-like symptoms,aches, fever, sore throat... all symptoms I'm currently experiencing. At least I'm not overeating, right? Just kidding. Can't wait to feel better!

I ate a lot of sugar yesterday. I used probably all my extra points that I'm allotted for the week. It made me feel sick and crummy. I don't want to do that again. Not only do I have to focus extra hard on what I eat this week... but it wasn't worth it. Blah. When I'm not moderate I feel crappy. I think I was sad & looking for comfort. I kept thinking I was just giving myself a break and being "free"... but really I was just a captive. Yuck. Live and Learn, right?

So, I'm down a total of 7.6 pounds. That's a 5 pound bag of sugar and 2 POUNDS of BUTTER! Whew-hoo! The weight doesn't seem that much but it's the way that my clothes are fitting that gets me excited. I also feel better in general physically. In addition I'm learning how to have treats and enjoy food in moderation. I'm just feeling more mindful of what's going in my mouth. I've started back to Zumba at the Y... and I'm loving it! I made blueberry muffins with a Fiber One Mix and bulked it up with extra blueberries. Everyone loved them! They were super yum while still being super good for you!

So how did I do on my weigh in on Friday (the 7th)? Equivalent in weight of what I lost... 2.6 pounds! I must confess I was a little disappointed. I was hoping for something a little more drastic the first week... you know like between 5-7 pounds. BUT, I realized I'm losing weight healthier than I did in the past. My goal is consistency not dramatic results that just as quickly disappear and besides, I don't feel deprived. I even went away with Mike for an overnight... ate out twice (once at the Cheesecake Factory)... had desserts and coffee, etc. during the week and still managed to lose 2.6 pounds! Not only that but I can tell I'm losing inches. I feel it in my clothes! I can button up things I couldn't button up before. My jeans aren't cutting into my waist. I'm learning how to eat better so I'm satisfied longer... so I get the nutrition I need... and so I become healthier. I love it!!! I edited a recipe I love for banana chocolate chip muffins and made ...

A good day for following my new lifestyle. I even had a date with Mike and was able to plan how to use my points to the best advantage! Yay! I popped popcorn before we went to the movies. I had some clementines an apple and popcorn to get me through my desire to munch while I watch. I even had a McD's icecream cone... I don't feel deprived and I don't feel out of control with my eating. It's very nice.