The bare truth.

Emotional eating is a huge struggle for me.

I feel like I'm doing fine coping with all the stress of my life... dealing with anxiety and at times panic and depression... but I'm not. How am I coping with it? I'm eating. I'm eating through the pain. Eating through the sadness. Eating through the loneliness. Eating through the regret and then I'm loathing. I loathe myself for doing this. I don't want to overeat. The problem is I don't even feel "full". I never even feel stuffed. I feel like I could just keep eating and eating and eating. It makes me so mad.

I can do really well and exercise and take my vitamins and drink water. I can be sure to eat a large salad with tons of fresh vegetables and a delicious balanced breakfast, etc... but when it all comes down to it I will eat the wrong things later as an attempt to satiate the pain inside me. I will eat the goodies and sweets that I know are calorie loaded.

It breaks my heart. this overindulgence. This dissatisfaction I have inside. I want to be full of God. I want to long for Him and turn to Him when I am empty or sad or lonely or depressed. I want to cry out to Him instead of filling myself with cookies or other empty things.

i don't know how to repent and truly break this cycle. I don't know how to make it stop.

So I call out to God again. Rescue me from myself. From this body of death. From my own indulgence. Give me self-control. Give me wisdom. Save me Jesus. I can't do this apart from you. I can't change apart from you.

Help me to find another way to comfort myself... by reading and eating from the bread of Life, your Word... by soaking myself in prayer... by praising you and meditating on you- your goodness and faithfulness... by finding my hope and joy in you... not in food. Jesus, I want to fix my eyes on you and to let my heart overflow with gratefulness. Lord, I know food is only a temporary satisfaction which leads me only longing for the next fix. Please help me to view food rightly.

Thank you that you are faithful to hear my prayers. I love you Jesus, Amen.

So I will trust the Lord at His Word when He says (Lamentations 3:22-23),

"22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness."


And Matthew 6 encourages us in this way,

"25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

He knows my worries and anxiety about eating/not eating/over-eating. He is aware. I need and want to first and foremost look to Him and seek after Him. Seek after the things that please Him and to trust the Lord that the rest will follow in the right time and in the right way.