6 weeks of consistent exercising. Praise the Lord.

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Feeling my Feelings...

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It's been amazing all the different things that have come to the surface since I'm no longer eating my feelings. I find myself trying to find new ways to numb and distract myself. Mainly Facebook/Instagram/Pinterest. So I'm having to set a timer and let myself be on for 10 minutes and when the timer goes off I get off. I'm not going to replace a bad habit with another bad habit! I also see myself wanting to turn to my phone to kill time instead of doing the things I need to be doing... it's like I'm bored while being busy! It's been so interesting being raw and vulnerable. I feel like I'm completely open to any kind of attack. I've had to keep turning to the Lord and asking Him to be my covering. To be my shield. My protector and defender. My help in time of need. Yesterday I was down for the count. Peter had come with a virus/bug and passed it on to me and Mike. Thankful I was able to sleep a lot of the day. I chose to still do my fuelings and l...
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The bare truth.

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Emotional eating is a huge struggle for me. I feel like I'm doing fine coping with all the stress of my life... dealing with anxiety and at times panic and depression... but I'm not. How am I coping with it? I'm eating. I'm eating through the pain. Eating through the sadness. Eating through the loneliness. Eating through the regret and then I'm loathing. I loathe myself for doing this. I don't want to overeat. The problem is I don't even feel "full". I never even feel stuffed. I feel like I could just keep eating and eating and eating. It makes me so mad. I can do really well and exercise and take my vitamins and drink water. I can be sure to eat a large salad with tons of fresh vegetables and a delicious balanced breakfast, etc... but when it all comes down to it I will eat the wrong things later as an attempt to satiate the pain inside me. I will eat the goodies and sweets that I know are calorie loaded. It breaks my heart. this...
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8 Weeks Down.

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I had a dream last night that I ate sugar. In my dream I ate a cupcake and drank a large cup of sweet tea. I woke up with a headache. So weird. I think this new way of eating is getting into my subconscious. It's amazing to me how I have been able to jump past hurdles like Halloween, Baby Showers, Birthday Parties, and even Thanksgiving. This program really helps keep my sugar levels balanced and the cravings down. I was talking with one of my clients and she was saying that what she experiences isn't true physical cravings for food but the emotional effect she'd have from eating those foods. E.G. Chocolate- Endorphins. What she is truly craving is the effect. I can relate. As I approach my sister's birthday this week and recognize that she would have been turning 37 I realize how tempting it is to want to turn to food for comfort. For a quick fix. For a temporary high. I used to used food to reward myself and to punish myself. It was a sick cycle. Now, it...
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